Since childhood I have been an ardent fan and follower of the natural world. I met my husband while hiking. Thanks to the pandemic, we have been motivated to spend even more time outdoors observing wildlife, hunting, kayaking and fishing.
Of late I have found myself musing about these experiences and others from my past. I feel the need to more deeply explore my impressions and share them with others who might be affirmed or inspired.
A major inspiration for my blog was reading and thinking about the book “Deeper Currents: The Sacraments of Hunting and Fishing” by Donald C. Jackson (University Press of Mississippi). I ordered the book of essays last March, set it on my kitchen table, and read it slowly into the summer.
The book - by a pastor, wildlife biologist, and lifelong hunter and fisherman - was just what I needed to read to foster my soul’s journey into the natural realm. Since then, the urge to write on nature from a personal perspective has been growing.
Why did I seek out such a book? An unexpected brush with a big buck one weekend last December and harvesting my first deer, a doe, the next. Those experiences profoundly changed me.
My husband and I came across the buck and several does while we were walking on a public trail where we had never seen deer before. It was the Saturday before our adult mentored hunt with Alabama state wildlife biologists. Steve quietly pointed out the buck seated just up the hill on the side of the trail.
The big-racked buck loudly rose to his feet and stared our way. Steve kept moving down the trail so he wouldn’t further spook the deer. Testing my camo clothing, my instinct was to be still.
I can’t adequately explain what happened next. I was transfixed by the buck staring down toward me as he stomped a front foot and swelled out to his most formidable. He was standing about 20 feet away on a patch several feet higher than the top of my head. The does were standing nearby watching.
Awed by his noble presence, somewhat fearful of what might happen next, I kept watching. Barely breathing, I tried not to move a muscle. After a while the buck seemed to relax. He began slowly walking away, periodically glancing back. His group moved off with him.
Partly because of this encounter, I had mixed feelings about shooting a deer, particularly a buck, at my adult mentored hunt. I didn’t feel that I deserved a deer yet, hadn’t earned it by wanting it long enough. By talking about my feelings I was able to get to the place that when the right opportunity came to harvest a doe, I was ready to take the shot.
My mentor and I walked up to the mature doe late that afternoon. The animal was lying still and not breathing. Placing my hands on her side I felt her warmth and experienced a spiritual connection I never want to forget. I sensed her sacred gift of life to me, a hunter, and thanked our Maker. I am still being fed by that bounty.
Photo above: Cypress trees at sunset on Lake Eufaula, Ala. By Steve Kinney